As a woman, I’m quite versed in female sabotage aka women’s nastiness dressed up in psychological warfare. In fact, I’m so well-versed in it, from a very young age I was forced to develop my own tried and true mechanisms in order to fight back against it with the necessary audacity, cunning and skill. The female mind is shifty and Machiavellian by nature–we often pretend we don’t realize we are hurtful towards people in general, when we know damn well how harmful and nasty we are being to other women.
I loathe to say I was “bullied” as a child, suffice to say a majority of my younger years I was not highly favored among female members of my own peer group. I spent a majority of my teenage years isolated from interaction with girls at my high school and it was very tough for me to make the needed social adjustments out in the cock-fighting arena known as the high school environment.
Fortunately, learning firsthand about this ruse of human absurdity at a young age helped change my view of the world into a very realistic one, and I was more than prepared to enter adulthood equipped with the psychological know-how needed to cope with very complicated adult relationships.
The only major difference is that school kids are a lot nastier to each other than adults–adults take on the thinly-veiled veneer of hating you while children make it obvious under no uncertain terms they can’t stand you and want you to drop dead.
Men reading this need to pay special attention to the female psychology outlined in detail here and observe this appalling behavior in their wives, daughters and girlfriends, even their own mothers and grandmothers. I’ve noticed a lot of men who visit and comment here are still under the naive puffy white cloud perception of innocence surrounding female nature and psychology–and the following information will prove to be invaluable to you as men who have yet to understand how and why women are often very horrible and nasty to each other underneath all the Maybelline.
Women have low ingroup loyalty, attractive > unattractive
Women are by nature social climbers. Men in the manosphere refer to this as “hypergamy” when really it’s a survival mechanism–the higher on the rung a woman can achieve desired social status, the more she can insure her perceived social value, therefore securing her survival. While men tend to be ruthless and cutthroat in business and financial matters, women are ruthless in matters concerning social grouping and social value.
What is high social status for women?
- Being youthful
- Being fit and thin
- Being sexy and attractive
- Having the very best males select her for relationships/marriage
- Having connections, influence and social prestige among her peer group
- Having high-end material goods (expensive purses, shoes, accessories–sounds really, really dumb but to women it means absolutely everything)
If a woman is not beautiful or doesn’t have enough sex appeal, then social climbing can be very limited. A beautiful woman by comparison doesn’t have to engage in outright sabotage by necessity to the extent of her lesser attractive peers because the world is already at her feet–a beautiful woman can easily command the right friends, the perfect partner, the modeling job with a lucrative salary and the highly-coveted social standing.
Beautiful women as an ingroup will compete with each other for certain accouterments but since it can be very tight competition, many beautiful girls will cede to allowing a competitor to claim her rightful place in the sexual market food chain. Beautiful girls know a life of plentifulness and abundance, there is more than enough to go around and they can easily move onto greener pastures without becoming too jarred or jaded. Ever notice how girls at the Playboy mansion will hang around each other and even get along pretty well? (Hint: I have never made enemies with any beautiful girls, it’s always the unattractive ones who are the nastiest and most vindictive).
Keep in mind, beautiful girls can too become nasty when they hit the wall–beauty doesn’t last forever and unfortunately, neither do the hormones that help women be nicer and more agreeable (menopause is truly awful). Women being robbed of their beauty can be akin to losing a limb, it f*cks with the mind something terrible.
By contrast an unattractive woman will attempt to move her way up the ladder through sabotage and destruction in any capacity to further her social standing and she will do so without hesitation–because she only knows a life of scarcity. Resources are scarce for the unattractive and undesired woman, and she will be the first to backstab in order to ruin her own friendships, to destroy her peer’s relationships with men, to get that promotion, etc. If another woman has something she wants bad enough, she will not hesitate to be as seditious and cruel as she is able her power in order to get it.
However, this is where her social power is moot unless she has the needed clout and ammunition in order to declare war on those she is in direct competition with. An unattractive woman can’t win and won’t win against her better rivals so the negative correlation stands–the more unattractive a woman is the nastier she will have to be in order to get what she wants. This is a cardinal rule.
Jealousy, mate guarding and crabs-in-a-bucket
Jealousy is a very powerful defense mechanism for women. Women get jealous of each other if they perceive the other woman as a threat to their own social standing. You primarily see it in mate-guarding, particularly if the girl is with a man who has perceived high social value–women in this case get so jealous and nasty they can’t see straight.
In my early 20’s before I got married I went to an evening concert and one of the performers was doing a sort of “meet and greet” in a booth in the front of the concert hall. The women were lined up throwing themselves at him. Sometime later when the crowd dissipated a bit I walked over to the booth and got a moment to speak to the performer in a sort of chance one-on-one encounter while buying a t-shirt and a some autographed memorabilia.
Suddenly some girl came out of nowhere, interrupted and muscled her way in between us and proceeded to stand right in front me using her elbows and entire body to back into me and shove me out of the way. She started squealing, cackling and yelping his name and flailing about trying to hang all over him. Obviously he wasn’t my boyfriend or anything of the sort so I just laughed and walked away leaving the poor man to enjoy being accosted by this obnoxious twit (the look on his face was as dreadful as it was priceless).
I’ve heard this happen to the wives of many famous men–women will just come up to a male celebrity and throw themselves at him right in front of their wives. This is just one example of the widely universal and very common nastiness that women gleefully partake in, and it boggles the mind that men still think that women are so amiable, cloying and innocent.
As I mentioned earlier, women take being nasty to a whole new level. I truly envy men in their moral and psychological capacity to not engage in this kind of rotten, perfidious betrayal. The following are further and endless schemes in which women actively work to sabotage each other:
1) Malicious gossip and rumor spreading, character/social assassination, extreme cattiness
There’s a reason women read gossip magazines and watch soap operas. They literally thirst for and get off on seeing other women suffer at the hand of their mishaps and foolishness. Women line up to throw kerosene on the fire and proceed to collect the ashes in pretty little glass jars with pink ribbons on them once everything has burnt down to a crisp around them.
Don’t tell women any of your secrets because they won’t be secrets for long. Every woman I’ve ever been friends with who inevitably became my enemy attempted to use my secrets against me later for character assassination. There has been not one woman in my past who hasn’t attempted to expose what I confided to her in earnest that I was dumb enough to entrust to her in confidence.
Be very careful whom you spill your secrets–better yet, keep them to yourself. However, if you must confess some of your girly problems, tell your sister or another trusted female family member. Don’t tell people you think are your friends because I promise you, at some point in time when they get bored and need someone to f*ck with, BOOM you’ll be first on their list.
How to fight back:
I keep a running mental tally of the “secrets” I tell certain people as a test to see how long before my precious little “entrusted friends” will blab them to others. It’s my personal litmus test and I’ll even make something up along the way that is essentially harmless to me but juicy enough to light a woman’s subter-fuze whom I suspect will use it to sabotage me at some point in time in the future. I never tell the same secret to more than one person, that way I can pinpoint exactly who spilled it and put my foot right to their rear end on the spot.
Ultimately however, your best bet is if women start acting like piles and start talking bad about you, just get rid of them for good. They are useless. There is no use having someone in your life you call a friend who is a duplicitous bag of dog shavings. Move on without them.
2) Purposeful sabotage, encouraging you to become ugly, overweight, or less attractive
Unattractive women are very prone to flattery. Guys, you know how truly beautiful women hate it when you compliment them on their looks? (The reason for this is because pretty women yearn so much to be seen as more than just a pretty face)
In contrast, unattractive women just eat it up–all the false praise they can muster when you compliment their looks, achievements, etc. Therefore ladies, if your unattractive friend is telling you “gurrrrllll, you would look great with this x (strange hair color, 20 pounds heavier, hideous looking outfit, awful haircut, stupid tattoo)” for the love of God, do not listen to them. They are actually telling you to be ugly.
Yes, they are telling you to be unattractive. They are telling you to stop getting attention from men because they aren’t getting any. They are telling you to be as undesirable as they are because they can’t live with seeing you be something they can’t.
How to fight back:
If you have to be friends with losers, I guess that’s your prerogative. However, if you can stand to thin the herd a little by getting rid of irreverent scum like this, your life will be that much easier and stress-free. You have to ask yourself, do you honestly need someone in your life who is going to lie to you in order to ensure you never find happiness?
3) Ostracism and banishment
You know the feeling when you are suddenly being ignored by the group? When suddenly you’re at a party and all of your friends you arrived with left you all by yourself, vulnerable and sitting alone in an unfamiliar place in front of complete strangers?
Women are like a pack of hyenas and will gang up on a single member of the group and turn on her at the drop of a hat as a form of blatant hostility. They know you’re sitting there alone, scared, uncomfortable and in a fragile state. Then a few hours later at closing time they’ll lie and pretend, “OMG, where were you all night? I didn’t even know where you were! Don’t be such a stranger next time, make sure you hang with us!”
How to fight back:
Become the life of the party. I had a group of backbiting, drunken barn hens (one who was supposed to be my good friend) ditch me when we got to the bar after work on my 30th birthday of all days. I immediately thought, “Oh look, it’s high school all over again with the nasty bitches trying to make me look weird and bad in front of everybody by making me the loner of the group. Quelle surprise!”
I ended up having a blast. I was dressed to the 9s and decided to make the most of it by sitting at the bar chatting up the bartender and the patrons coming to and fro. I had all my drinks comped the entire night, while the barn biddies had to pay out the nose for everything (sometimes it actually pays to do your own thing, had I hung out all night with the hens I wouldn’t have gotten anything comped lol). Needless to say that was the last time I spoke to “my good friend” ever again. It was unbelievable that I was treated so badly by her on my birthday, but unsurprising. This has happened to me dozens of times–which is why I was able to turn it to my advantage. I’ve had more than enough practice!
Stay tuned for the next installment of this post. With so much to cover here on how to fight back, don’t miss it.