How and Why Women Sabotage Each Other and How to Fight Back

As a woman, I’m quite versed in female sabotage aka women’s nastiness dressed up in psychological warfare. In fact, I’m so well-versed in it, from a very young age I was forced to develop my own tried and true mechanisms in order to fight back against it with the necessary audacity, cunning and skill. The female mind is shifty and Machiavellian by nature–we often pretend we don’t realize we are hurtful towards people in general, when we know damn well how harmful and nasty we are being to other women.

I loathe to say I was “bullied” as a child, suffice to say a majority of my younger years I was not highly favored among female members of my own peer group. I spent a majority of my teenage years isolated from interaction with girls at my high school and it was very tough for me to make the needed social adjustments out in the cock-fighting arena known as the high school environment.

Fortunately, learning firsthand about this ruse of human absurdity at a young age helped change my view of the world into a very realistic one, and I was more than prepared to enter adulthood equipped with the psychological know-how needed to cope with very complicated adult relationships.

The only major difference is that school kids are a lot nastier to each other than adults–adults take on the thinly-veiled veneer of hating you while children make it obvious under no uncertain terms they can’t stand you and want you to drop dead.

Men reading this need to pay special attention to the female psychology outlined in detail here and observe this appalling behavior in their wives, daughters and girlfriends, even their own mothers and grandmothers. I’ve noticed a lot of men who visit and comment here are still under the naive puffy white cloud perception of innocence surrounding female nature and psychology–and the following information will prove to be invaluable to you as men who have yet to understand how and why women are often very horrible and nasty to each other underneath all the Maybelline.

Women have low ingroup loyalty, attractive > unattractive

Women are by nature social climbers. Men in the manosphere refer to this as “hypergamy” when really it’s a survival mechanism–the higher on the rung a woman can achieve desired social status, the more she can insure her perceived social value, therefore securing her survival. While men tend to be ruthless and cutthroat in business and financial matters, women are ruthless in matters concerning social grouping and social value.

What is high social status for women?

  • Being youthful
  • Being fit and thin
  • Being sexy and attractive
  • Having the very best males select her for relationships/marriage
  • Having connections, influence and social prestige among her peer group
  • Having high-end material goods (expensive purses, shoes, accessories–sounds really, really dumb but to women it means absolutely everything)

If a woman is not beautiful or doesn’t have enough sex appeal, then social climbing can be very limited. A beautiful woman by comparison doesn’t have to engage in outright sabotage by necessity to the extent of her lesser attractive peers because the world is already at her feet–a beautiful woman can easily command the right friends, the perfect partner, the modeling job with a lucrative salary and the highly-coveted social standing.

Beautiful women as an ingroup will compete with each other for certain accouterments but since it can be very tight competition, many beautiful girls will cede to allowing a competitor to claim her rightful place in the sexual market food chain. Beautiful girls know a life of plentifulness and abundance, there is more than enough to go around and they can easily move onto greener pastures without becoming too jarred or jaded. Ever notice how girls at the Playboy mansion will hang around each other and even get along pretty well? (Hint: I have never made enemies with any beautiful girls, it’s always the unattractive ones who are the nastiest and most vindictive).

Side note:

Keep in mind, beautiful girls can too become nasty when they hit the wall–beauty doesn’t last forever and unfortunately, neither do the hormones that help women be nicer and more agreeable (menopause is truly awful). Women being robbed of their beauty can be akin to losing a limb, it f*cks with the mind something terrible.

By contrast an unattractive woman will attempt to move her way up the ladder through sabotage and destruction in any capacity to further her social standing and she will do so without hesitation–because she only knows a life of scarcity. Resources are scarce for the unattractive and undesired woman, and she will be the first to backstab in order to ruin her own friendships, to destroy her peer’s relationships with men, to get that promotion, etc. If another woman has something she wants bad enough, she will not hesitate to be as seditious and cruel as she is able her power in order to get it.

However, this is where her social power is moot unless she has the needed clout and ammunition in order to declare war on those she is in direct competition with. An unattractive woman can’t win and won’t win against her better rivals so the negative correlation stands–the more unattractive a woman is the nastier she will have to be in order to get what she wants. This is a cardinal rule.

Jealousy, mate guarding and crabs-in-a-bucket

Jealousy is a very powerful defense mechanism for women. Women get jealous of each other if they perceive the other woman as a threat to their own social standing. You primarily see it in mate-guarding, particularly if the girl is with a man who has perceived high social value–women in this case get so jealous and nasty they can’t see straight.

In my early 20’s before I got married I went to an evening concert and one of the performers was doing a sort of “meet and greet” in a booth in the front of the concert hall. The women were lined up throwing themselves at him. Sometime later when the crowd dissipated a bit I walked over to the booth and got a moment to speak to the performer in a sort of chance one-on-one encounter while buying a t-shirt and a some autographed memorabilia.

Suddenly some girl came out of nowhere, interrupted and muscled her way in between us and proceeded to stand right in front me using her elbows and entire body to back into me and shove me out of the way. She started squealing, cackling and yelping his name and flailing about trying to hang all over him. Obviously he wasn’t my boyfriend or anything of the sort so I just laughed and walked away leaving the poor man to enjoy being accosted by this obnoxious twit (the look on his face was as dreadful as it was priceless).

I’ve heard this happen to the wives of many famous men–women will just come up to a male celebrity and throw themselves at him right in front of their wives. This is just one example of the widely universal and very common nastiness that women gleefully partake in, and it boggles the mind that men still think that women are so amiable, cloying and innocent.

As I mentioned earlier, women take being nasty to a whole new level. I truly envy men in their moral and psychological capacity to not engage in this kind of rotten, perfidious betrayal. The following are further and endless schemes in which women actively work to sabotage each other:

1) Malicious gossip and rumor spreading, character/social assassination, extreme cattiness

There’s a reason women read gossip magazines and watch soap operas. They literally thirst for and get off on seeing other women suffer at the hand of their mishaps and foolishness. Women line up to throw kerosene on the fire and proceed to collect the ashes in pretty little glass jars with pink ribbons on them once everything has burnt down to a crisp around them.

Don’t tell women any of your secrets because they won’t be secrets for long. Every woman I’ve ever been friends with who inevitably became my enemy attempted to use my secrets against me later for character assassination. There has been not one woman in my past who hasn’t attempted to expose what I confided to her in earnest that I was dumb enough to entrust to her in confidence.

Be very careful whom you spill your secrets–better yet, keep them to yourself. However, if you must confess some of your girly problems, tell your sister or another trusted female family member. Don’t tell people you think are your friends because I promise you, at some point in time when they get bored and need someone to f*ck with, BOOM you’ll be first on their list.

How to fight back:

I keep a running mental tally of the “secrets” I tell certain people as a test to see how long before my precious little “entrusted friends” will blab them to others. It’s my personal litmus test and I’ll even make something up along the way that is essentially harmless to me but juicy enough to light a woman’s subter-fuze whom I suspect will use it to sabotage me at some point in time in the future.  I never tell the same secret to more than one person, that way I can pinpoint exactly who spilled it and put my foot right to their rear end on the spot.

Ultimately however, your best bet is if women start acting like piles and start talking bad about you, just get rid of them for good. They are useless. There is no use having someone in your life you call a friend who is a duplicitous bag of dog shavings. Move on without them.

2) Purposeful sabotage, encouraging you to become ugly, overweight, or less attractive

Unattractive women are very prone to flattery. Guys, you know how truly beautiful women hate it when you compliment them on their looks? (The reason for this is because pretty women yearn so much to be seen as more than just a pretty face)

In contrast, unattractive women just eat it up–all the false praise they can muster when you compliment their looks, achievements, etc. Therefore ladies, if your unattractive friend is telling you “gurrrrllll, you would look great with this x (strange hair color, 20 pounds heavier, hideous looking outfit, awful haircut, stupid tattoo)” for the love of God, do not listen to them. They are actually telling you to be ugly.

Yes, they are telling you to be unattractive. They are telling you to stop getting attention from men because they aren’t getting any. They are telling you to be as undesirable as they are because they can’t live with seeing you be something they can’t.

How to fight back:

If you have to be friends with losers, I guess that’s your prerogative. However, if you can stand to thin the herd a little by getting rid of irreverent scum like this, your life will be that much easier and stress-free. You have to ask yourself, do you honestly need someone in your life who is going to lie to you in order to ensure you never find happiness?

3) Ostracism and banishment

You know the feeling when you are suddenly being ignored by the group? When suddenly you’re at a party and all of your friends you arrived with left you all by yourself, vulnerable and sitting alone in an unfamiliar place in front of complete strangers?

Women are like a pack of hyenas and will gang up on a single member of the group and turn on her at the drop of a hat as a form of blatant hostility. They know you’re sitting there alone, scared, uncomfortable and in a fragile state. Then a few hours later at closing time they’ll lie and pretend, “OMG, where were you all night? I didn’t even know where you were! Don’t be such a stranger next time, make sure you hang with us!”

How to fight back:

Become the life of the party. I had a group of backbiting, drunken barn hens (one who was supposed to be my good friend) ditch me when we got to the bar after work on my 30th birthday of all days. I immediately thought, “Oh look, it’s high school all over again with the nasty bitches trying to make me look weird and bad in front of everybody by making me the loner of the group. Quelle surprise!”

I ended up having a blast. I was dressed to the 9s and decided to make the most of it by sitting at the bar chatting up the bartender and the patrons coming to and fro. I had all my drinks comped the entire night, while the barn biddies had to pay out the nose for everything (sometimes it actually pays to do your own thing, had I hung out all night with the hens I wouldn’t have gotten anything comped lol). Needless to say that was the last time I spoke to “my good friend” ever again. It was unbelievable that I was treated so badly by her on my birthday, but unsurprising. This has happened to me dozens of times–which is why I was able to turn it to my advantage. I’ve had more than enough practice!

Stay tuned for the next installment of this post. With so much to cover here on how to fight back, don’t miss it.

  • C!BB!

    Do you think it’s true that women tend to befriend other women who also look similar to themselves? This is something I’ve noticed but I’m not sure if perhaps I’m biased or mistaken in my perception, but I’ve met the female friends of women I know and almost always they are share the same physical attributes, i.e. both slim or both large chested, etc. So I asked one woman I know, who is athletic, about this and she thought I was crazy. But then I saw a photo on her Facebook of her and her female friends and they were all athletic!

    Now, for me, if you see my group of male friends we’re tall, short, fat, thin… a variety. Maybe I’m crazy but does this ring true at all for you, and if so, why is that? Is it because, as you point out, there is an in-group rivalry and in order to remain peaceful it’s better for women to socialize with women who they don’t feel the need to compete with? Is this subconscious or do women knowingly look at women like them and decide, “I can be her friend.”

    • Yes, yes and yes.

      You completely nailed it. I am convinced that women will select friends based on having criteria very similar to themselves as far as physicality (less competition, empathy and familiarity with a person, etc)–however, I’ve known girls (mostly girls who look average or below) who will choose friends who are less attractive than themselves so they can stand out in social situations.

      Personally, I’ve hung around all types of women and I’m usually open to having friendships with all types hence, my highly variable and spectacularly horrible experiences with so many of them lol. But I can say I have never had any trouble with any pretty girls–they have always been the sweetest and most welcoming of any group of women.

      Men in contrast likely select friends based on similar interests and social class as well as intellect. Men don’t pay attention to how their friends look, they just aren’t wired that way. I typically select friends the way a man does I suspect (I like anyone that’s cool, really) and that’s probably why it’s consistently been my downfall. If I could do it all over again and go back and pick friends I would probably stick with the cuter girls and not have bothered with the unattractive ones, I would have saved myself tons of heartache.

      • C!BB!

        OK, I need to get your take on this… this is something I witnessed last week:

        On either side of me at work there are two women at their desks. One side is a young (early 30s) woman, married, just had a second baby. On the other side is a woman in her early 60s, never married (I think, not sure) but definitely childless and, sadly, obese and very unattractive. I’ve actually overhead the young married one talk shit about the older ugly one to the other ladies at the office, like making sure she doesn’t get told about lunch plans so they don’t have to invite her along – that kind of thing. To my knowledge she’s never said anything to her face and has always been polite. But… last week I noticed for the first time the young one complimenting her on her looks. She said and I quote: “That color looks pretty one you.” She was referring to a sweater she had on that was, I think, pink or light red. Anyway, the ugly fat lady smiles, says thanks and they chit chat for a second before she walks away. I overheard this and it got my interest because it seemed so out of place. So after the old lady walked away, around the corner, I glanced over at the young married girl who said it and I could see she was grinning. At the time I didn’t think anything about it but now after reading your views I’m wondering if there was some other motive for it.

        What do you think? Was she genuine, and if not, then why did she even say that when she didn’t need to?

        • Ugh, what an awful and unfortunately, very common scenario. Women are absolute cunts in that kind of working environment.

          The office is the place where women’s souls go to die. Your 30-something co-worker likely hates her job so much that she fucks with the elderly woman as a stress reliever and beloved pastime. I wish I could say that she’d probably be a decent person if she was far removed from an office environment but I highly doubt that would be the case–she sounds precisely like the type of woman who is a passive aggressive catty bitch no matter where she goes.

          My guess that she is “complimenting” the elderly woman because she likely needs a favor from her in conjunction with telling her she looks good in something that looks pretty awful–as a man you probably don’t really notice how bad something might look on her because she’s homely and elderly and therefore not on your radar.

          As always, it’s often unattractive/mediocre/shit tier girls who engage in this kind of nasty shit. They’re desperately trying to assert their social status in the food chain by picking on people weaker and less desirable than they are because well, what else are they going to do? They can’t punch up because they too are failures–they’re bottom feeders themselves!

          When I was young I worked in a big corporate office and this tight clique of nasty hideous, obese women would constantly pick on this girl who was underclass and impoverished. The girl would often come in dressed in rags well, because that’s all she could afford. She was what can be referred to as “loaves and fishes” disadvantaged–getting stuff from food banks and the like just to get by.

          My God, these women were just unbelievably horrible and cruel to her–they’d literally spend hours gathered around gossiping centered on trashing her, trashing her clothes, her hair, the car she drove, where she lived, you name it. I mean, who’d think it? A bunch of miserable, unattractive, fat women picking on someone who has absolutely nothing–a bunch of losers picking on someone whose circumstances are barely less spectacular than their own!

          Welcome to our world. This is what women do, this is how they operate and what you’re seeing is barely the tip of the iceberg. I have virtually thousands of scenarios like this I could indulge you, it’s never-ending.

          Your co-worker sounds like a real nasty piece of work. Keep an eye on her, although I’m sure you are likely well-insulated from any maliciousness on her part because you’re a man. The elderly woman on the other hand is going to keep being treated very badly by her. Count on it.

  • Octobaby

    You claim to love Christ but write a hate-filled blog which mocks women for their appearances, praises a man who cheated on all three of his wives and appears to have no real morals beyond making more cash, brags about your life without a trace of the humble modesty Christ encourages in His followers, and claims the only men worthy of a woman’s time have to be loaded and downright rude (your sister’s husband sounds more like an abuser than a so-called alpha, I’m sorry). Christ said it’s easier for a coarse thread (or camel depending on translation) to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven yet you worship at the altar of material possessions because…? You also go on about genetic dead ends as if missing the part where Jesus himself was a “genetic dead end”! Not feeling love for Christ much at all in your writing, more love for yourself.

    I agree it’s a shame our culture attacks women who devote themselves to their families, and perhaps that has made you feel defensive of your lifestyle & values, in which case I understand but still suggest you tone down the anger in your writing. It detracts from your message. If you were as content with your life as you claim, you wouldn’t feel a need to viciously attack those who have chosen a different path.

    Not all women are submissive & not every member of a genetic line has to personally reproduce for that line to be successful – in fact some evolutionary biologists think gay or “third gender” people were helpful to the human species because they didn’t personally reproduce but still provided food & labor to their tribes, ensuring their siblings’ & other relatives’ offspring survived. When you mock the childfree & single you are mocking Jesus, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, and most of the saints since very few of them were married. Who are you to mock the most devoted to Christ?

  • jmcaul

    What advice do you have for us less attractive women? Those of us who seem to be invisible? I’m not talking about overweight, slovenly, poorly groomed women; I’m talking about women who maintain a trim weight, have a good personality and sense of humor, dress nicely, wear tasteful makeup and style our hair, etc. even with all of that however, we are still just PLAIN. Add to that the tits never having showed up and can’t afford implants and we may as well be completely invisible.

    Jumping on the tabletop and stripping off isn’t even an option for us as it would be viewed as a comedy act.

    • I shouldn’t be amused by this but forgive me, this is such a cute comment. lol

      1) You’re at an ideal weight. Especially among many overweight Western women. This counts for A LOT.

      2) You may think you are plain but I can promise you, you just need a few glam lessons. In the early ’00s I came across this advertisement for “The Alexis Vogel System,” Vogel, being Pamela Anderson’s personal makeup artist. She could make ANY woman look stunning with a few brush strokes –all you need is the right makeup, hair and wardrobe although you sound plenty put together already in that aspect (and you already have the awesome figure, you just need some really great dresses and shoes).

      3) Also, buy some lingerie. Buy beautiful matching sets for daily wear. Try some of the lacy fancy stuff and some of the stuff you might think you feel silly in but would dare to wear for fun (I’m not talking about ridiculous ugly rubber or vinyl with zippers and chains but perhaps some chemises, babydolls etc). Being sexy underneath your clothes and behind closed doors where people don’t know about it or see it always made me feel my sexiest–it was never something I tried to do for anyone but how I felt about myself as a woman. Lingerie is very feminine and it always makes me feel beautiful. Try this site, great prices and huge selection

      Have some fun with it and do let me know how it goes, dear.


    • observerBG

      As a guy, i will give you my opinion.

      If you look feminine, and act feminine, it will be great. Maybe invest more in nails, boots, heels, and some jewelry, earrings, etc. Be in good physical shape, sport people are sexy and have cool body movement. Get some dance skills or join a dance group. Use tighter clothes that emphasize your figure and your body. Use the red color a bit more, for clothes, or for nails. Get a good looking stomach and show it during the summer. If you live near the sea, get a good swimsuit, go to the beach, get some tan, and swim/surf often. Also the fact that you are a right wing female is a plus, i know lots of guys who are fed up with pro-Clinton women, feminists, blue haired crazies, etc.

      So, basically: smile more, have a sweet voice, be traditional, slim, well dressed, good looking, in good physical shape, sexy, sweet, feminine, and right wing/racist. That should do it.

      Today i saw some pics of women who voted for Trump. There were all types of women, black, asian, latino, white. But white women were the best of all of them. I told myself: “nothing comes close to white women”.

      So don’t forget that you are a white woman too. You are better than all of the other women. You could be a great woman too.